Blonde Jokes @ Bharatguru.com

How do you get a blonde to climb on the roof?
Tell her that the drinks are on the house

What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp?
They both get screwed on the front of a Ford Escort

What do you call it when a blonde gets taken over by a demon?
A vacant posession

What did the blonde's dentist find?
Teeth in the cavity

What is a blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
She's trying to hold on to a thought

What is a blonde's idea of safe sex?
A padded dash

Why do blondes use white-out on their computer screens?
They couldn't find their eraser.

What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run like hell...she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.

Why did the blonde cross the road?
She wanted to see the geese because she heard honking!

Why was the blonde confused after giving birth to twins?
She couldn't figure out who the other mother was.

How do you know whether or not the blonde you slept with last night gave you a good blow-job?
The sheets are sucked up your ass.

Why did the blonde stare at the frozen orange juice can for hours?
Because it said 'concentrate'.

Why can't blondes count to 70?
Because 69 is a bit of a mouthful.

Why are only 2% of blondes touch-typists?
The rest are hunt'n peckers.

How is a blonde like peanut-butter?
They spread for the bread.

What do you call a blonde on a waterbed?
Cherry Float.

What do you call a blond mother-in-law?
An air bag.

What nickname is most used by blondes in order to boost their popularity?
B.J.

Why are blonde's coffins Y-shaped?
Because as soon as they are on their backs, their legs open.

Why do Blondes wear earmuffs?
To avoid the draft

Why do blondes get confused in the ladies room?
They have to pull their own pants down.

What do blonde virgins eat?
Baby food.

What is 68 to a blonde?
Where she goes down on you and you owe her one.

Why did the blonde take two hits of acid?
She wanted to go on a round trip.

Why did the blonde with a big pussy douche with crest?
She heard that it reduces cavities.

Why did the blonde give a blow job after sex?
She wanted to have her cock and eat it too.

Why did the blonde snort Nutra-Sweet?
She thought it was diet coke.

Why did a blonde bake a chicken for 3 and a half days?
It said cook it for half an hour per pound, and she weighed 125.

Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail when she was hammering?
The noise gave her a headache.

Why did the blonde have blisters on her lips?
From trying to blow out lightbulbs.

What is the first thing a blonde learns when she takes driving lessons ?
You can also sit upright in a car.

What's the definition of a metallurgist?
A man who can tell if a platinum blonde is a virgin metal or a common ore.

What is the difference between a new blonde and an old blonde?
Vaseline and Poli-Grip.

What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs?
Some traffic signs say stop.

What's the difference between a blonde and a lightbulb?
The lightbulb is smarter, but the blonde is easier to turn on.

What's the difference between a blonde and a bitch?
A blonde will fuck anyone, a bitch will fuck anyone but you.

What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
It's difficult to open the legs of an ironing board.

What's the difference between a blonde and a walrus?
One has whiskers and fishy flaps, and the other is a walrus.

What's the difference between a blonde and a brick?
When you lay a brick it doesn't follow you around for two weeks whining.

What is foreplay for a blonde?
Thirty minutes of begging.

What is a blonde's idea of dental floss?
Pubic hair.

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