A young couple is out carousing one evening. While driving down the highway the guy says to the girl, "If I go 100 miles an hour, will you take off your clothes?" She agrees and he begins to speed up. When the spedometer hits 100 she starts to strip. When she gets all her clothes off he is so busy staring at her that he drives off the road and flips the car. The girl is thrown clear without a scratch but her clothes and her boyfriend are trapped in the car. "Go get help.", he pleads. She replies, "I can't, I'm naked." He points to his shoe that was thrown clear and says "Cover your snatch with that and go get help." She takes the shoe, covers herself, and runs to the gas station down the road. When she arrives she is frantic and yells to the attendant, "HELP! HELP! My boyfriend's stuck!" The attendant looks down at the shoe covering her crotch and replies, "I'm sorry Miss. He's too far in."

A young girl had just been dumped by her boyfriend and was devistated. She decided that life was not worth living, so she walked down to the docks and out to the end of a pier. She was standing there gathering the courage to jump when a young man grabbed her arm and started talking to her. He told her "I am a seaman sailing for Europe in the morning and I'll smuggle you aboard my ship and take good car of you" The young lady agreed and the young man smuggled her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat along the side of the ship. Every day he would bring her food and they would make mad passionate love. This went on for THREE weeks! One day the captain was inspecting the ship and lifted the cover of the liferaft where the girl was hiding. He started interrogating her and she told him of the young sailor who had saved her and was being so nice to her. The captain said " Young lady, This is the Staten Island Ferry"!!!!!

A man meets his girl friend of 25 years ago. She was so happy to see him that she couldn't resist and asked him to come up and see her some time. "With pleasure!" says the man. So he bought some wine and a bunch of flowers and in the evening he went to see her. When the door opens there she was, stark naked. "What's this?" the man was shocked. She smiles and says, "I wore my birthday dress for you." "That's great" he says some what embarassed, " But couldn't you have pressed it first?"