Tragedy in Palm Beach County

There was a tragedy on Election Day in Palm Beach County…

A labor organizer had ten residents he'd rounded up in the back of his pickup truck when he drove off the Causeway Bridge into the ocean.

The driver managed to get out by rolling down his window, but the Palm Beach residents all drowned when they couldn’t get the truck’s tailgate open.

Abortion Bill

Did ya hear what President Clinton had to say about the Abortion Bill?

Ah thought ah paid it!

Airplane

A pilot and his four passengers were on an airplane that was about to crash. The four passengers were Michael Jordan, Bill Clinton, a hippie, and old man. Unfortunately, there were only four parachutes on the plane.

The pilot yelled, "I'm the pilot!" and jumped off with one of the parachutes.

Michael Jordan said, "I'm the world's greatest athlete!" and jumped off with another parachute.

Bill Clinton said, "I am the world's smartest man!" and jumped out of the plane. This left the hippie and the old man alone in the rapidly-descending airplane.

"I'm old," said the old man, "so you can have the last parachute."

"Nah, that's okay, man," the hippie said. "The world's smartest man just jumped out with my backpack."

Elevator

What is so special about the elevator in the White House?

It's the only thing Hillary Rodham Clinton would go down on.

Bill and Hillary At the Ball Game

Bill and Hillary are at the first baseball game of the year, and everyone is yelling and screaming.

One of the President's cabinet advisors whispers advice into his ear, at which point Bill stands up and throws Hillary out onto the field.

The crowd goes deathly silent and the advisor says, "No, sir, what I said was, they want you to throw out the first pitch."

Highly Taxed

A little boy wanted $100 very badly and his mother told him to pray to God for it. He prayed and prayed for two weeks, but nothing turned up. Then he decided perhaps he should write God a letter requesting the $100.

When the sorting office received the letter addressed to God, they opened it up and decided to send it to the President.

The President was so impressed, touched and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a check for $5. He thought that this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.

The little boy was delighted with the $5 and sat down to write a thank-you letter to God:

Dear God, Thank you very much for the money. I noticed that you had to send it through Washington.

As usual, they deducted $95 for themselves.

Bill and the Pope

President Clinton and the Pope both die on the same day but due to a clerical error Clinton goes to Heaven and the Pope goes to Hell.

When he gets to Hell the Pope realizes the something is wrong He goes to the devil and says, I think there's been a mistake. The devil checks his books and says you're right, but there's nothing we can do for 24 hours.

24 hours later the Pope is on his way to where he belongs and he meets Clinton on the way down. The conversation is as follows:

Pope: I sure am happy about that mixup

Clinton: Yes, me too I was gonna miss all my friends.

Pope: Yes, well there was something really important that I always wanted to do.

Clinton: What's that?

Pope: I always wanted to talk to the Virgin Mary

Clinton: You're a day late!

Dear Mr. Anthony:

Dear Mr. Anthony:

I am a sailor in the U.S. Navy and I also have a cousin who is a Democrat. My father has epilepsy and my mother has syphillis, so neither of them can work. they are totally dependent on my two sisters who are prostitures in Louisville because my brother is serving a life term in prison for rape and murder.

I am in love with a street walker, who operates near our base; tho she knows nothing of my background, she loves me. We intend to get married as soon as she settles her bigamy case which is now in court. When I get out of the Navy we intend to move to Detroit and open a small 'house'.

My problem, Mr. Anthony, is this: In view of the fact that I intend to thak this girl as my wife and bring her into the family, should I, or should I not, tell her about my cousin who is a Democrate?

Indo-Pak visits

In order to develop a friendly relationship between their two countries, Vajpayee and Parwez Musharraf decided to visit each other`s country regularly.

The first visit was by Vajpayee to Pakistan.

Musharraf showed him Pakistan`s modern telecommunications system. It was so good that Vajpayee was able to make a call to an old friend in Hell and talk to him for five minutes! Even better yet, the bill for the call came to only five rupees.

When Vajpayee returned, he too wanted India`s telecommunications systems to be at their best when Musharraf visited India, so suitable arrangements were made for the same.

Musharraf came to India, visited the telecomm department and then spoke with an old friend in Hell for five minutes, but this time the bill was 500 rupees!

Musharraf asked, "Why are telephone calls to Hell so costly in India?"

A high level diplomat gave the cool reply, "From Pakistan to Hell is a local call, sir, while from India it is long distance!"