Jokes Galory

A couple were on a vacation in Las Vegas and they were lounging around near the hotel pool. While doing so, the husband used his cell-phone to call his colleague who hadn't taken leave that day. After several unsuccessful events, he called the main office and said, I want to know something, am I the only person working today?


A woman whose car was not working properly went to her friend for advice before going to the mechanic. He drove the car around some blocks and told the woman how to explain the problem to the mechanic. When the woman went to the mechanic, she proudly recited, The timing is off, and there are premature detonations, which may damage the valves. She looked over the shoulder of the mechanic and saw him writing on his clipboard, "Lady says it makes a funny noise."


A man was giving a sermon one Sunday when he heard two teenage girls in the back giggling and clearly not listening to anything he said. He said out loud, There are two of you here who have not heard a word I've said. Immediately, those two girls quietened down. After the sermon, three adults came up to him and apologized for sleeping through the sermon without listening to what he had said!


One day, a couple went to the mall. They went into a video store and the wife started to look for exercise video tapes. She could not find them and so she went up to one of the staff and asked where the 'Exercise Video Tapes' were. The person said, Exercise Videos? Oh, they're between the Horror and Science Fiction sections.


A millionaire who was quite ugly and a beautiful actress were married. At first the actress acted immensely pleased and was friendly with her husband. After some time, she ignored him. After a few weeks the millionaire confronted her. Admit it, you only married me because my grandfather left me ten million dollars, right? he said. Don't be silly, I'd have married you no matter who had left you the money!