 VIVAHA
: The Seven Promises Of Marriage
A Hindu marriage and the rituals connected with it are colourful and festive. The
thrilling excitement of the bride and groom and their families builds up progressively for
days before the ceremony. The anxiety of the parents to complete the ceremonies
successfully, to receive and honour the guests, to supervise the hospitality and to build
the bridge of a new relationship between two families, gives the celebration a special air
of hectic activity.
The bride starts preparing herself for the wedding days in advance, with the application
of henna patterns on her hands and feet, readying her trousseau and having her jewellery
polished. Various social functions and parties with music singing and dancing precede the
wedding. Many people feel that Hindu marriages have become ostentatious celebrations with
little understanding of the true significance of the rituals. These rituals spell out that
only complete understanding of the sacrament by the bride and groom is the key to their
successful and peaceful co-existence. Marriage, according to the Hindu view, is a union of
two people based on seven principles: their surrender to each other; common ambitions;
mutual respect; responsibility; closeness; trust; joy and performance. All the rituals of
this sacrament signify these seven aims.
The varmala orjaymala, when the couple garland each other, is recognition of the
fact that they admire, accept and honour each other. When the bride accepts the garland,
she accepts a new life, a new home, a new family and a new relationship with her
bridegroom. He accepts her as a partner in his ambitions and wealth, his desire to live a
fruitful life e, his actions and plans, his search for self-realization and for the
continuance of his family. These objectives are described as dhavma, artha, kama and
moksha.
The kanyadan is another ritual of the marriage sacrament, which signifies the union
of the couple. As a religion based on the worship of nature, Hinduism requires that the
bond of marriage is sanctified by the five continents, the 10 directions, the oceans, the
rivers and other aspects of nature. Silk threads are tied around the couple to signify the
presence of these forces, while the holy fire is honoured as the chief witness. During kanyadan
or hastamilop, the parents of the bride offer their daughter's hand to the
bridegroom and officially complete the sacrament by pouring the water of the river Ganga
over their joined hands, holding a Tulsi leaf over them.
The third and final ritual common to all Hindus and necessary for the legalisation of a
marriage, is the saptapadi or the seven steps a couple takes together around the
holy fire. Taking these steps, they make promises to each other that they will build a
home together, produce virtuous progeny, cherish the family and its values, stay together
in joy and sorrow and practise dharma together.
During the marriage ceremony the bridegroom decorates his bride with kumkum or sindoor.
Much has been written about the tilak which Indian women wear on their foreheads. Clearly,
it is not a caste or religious mark, nor just a decoration for the face, but a worship of
the intellect and super-consciousness in every person. For both men and women, the tilak
is a reminder of the need to honour wisdom and to be humble in the presence of
divinity. In a patriarchal society, the tilak or bindi has become a symbol
of marriage, a mark of sowbhagya or sohag denoting the marital status of a
woman.
The rituals of a Hindu marriage vary from region to region and community to community. But
the basic four or five rites described here remain constant. The sacrament which changes
the entire lifestyles of two people, ends with a farewell ceremony known as vidai.
The bride is welcomed into her new home in a ritual called grihapravesh. On this
occasion, the householders respect the threshold as a protector of the honour of a family.
Within the threshold, a woman is the queen of her home, which she must regard as her
temple. While crossing the threshold of her new home, the bride prays for prosperity and
overturns a measure of rice placed on it. The resulting shower of rice is a symbol of good
fortune. After her welcome into the new family, games are played to tease the newly weds
and amidst noise and gaiety, they begin a new life.
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